Just Me, Myself and... You

Currently in the Category of Uncategorical

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Speaking in Tongues

"Speaking in tongues"
Refers to alternate dialects,
But I seem to recollect
Entire dialogues with you -
Words drifting through our eyes,
Passing quietly through lips 
and radiating long past our goodbyes…
Yes, this catchphrase still applies.

Filed under poem poetry

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No, I haven’t forgotten about you. I’ve made peace that I’ll always carry you around in my heart, even as the days grow into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years since I last saw your face or heard your voice. You are tucked away in the history of my heart. Perhaps I sneak into your thoughts every once in a while, perhaps you’ll never read this or know that I’ve thought about you, perhaps you packaged up everything neatly and have never looked back - I don’t know. I just wanted to say hello.

Filed under notforgotten love memories

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A long, slow pull from my cigarette…
An action once romantic,
Since deemed tragic,
Leaves me peaceful for a moment.
The nod of a fellow smoker,
An underground interaction
An unspoken understanding
A conversation that would otherwise not take place -
This is our space.

Filed under smoking cigarettes short poem

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"Hello?" I call out meekly from underneath my sheets. The lights are off in the house, the sun is beginning to set, and I am in a dark place that has no reflection on the absence of physical light that is descending. The same girl that sings and laughs through half marathons is lying lethargically with nothing but a meek "hello" to offer to the empty house. My mind is firmly split in two pieces - one that reflects hopelessly on past decisions, my position of going it alone in this world, and a steady onslaught of negative self talk, while the other piece looks down, arms firmly folded, insisting that nothing productive will come from the position I find myself currently laying in. I am depressed, clear as day - long past the steady warning signs of weight gain, separation from others, lack of enjoyment in things that I usually take pleasure from. I barreled past every warning sign and find myself picturing leaping off of a bridge into the abyss below. I won’t do it - no need to panic. It is escapism from where I lay. I dream of getting in my car and driving across the country, putting thousands of miles between me and that which surrounds me daily. My journey is a life of consistently being inconsistent and it shows. While I’m rarely alone, I am always alone. Many love me from afar, but few love me up close over extended periods of time. By now, at 33, I have a firm understanding of who I am and how I operate. I know my intentions are good, but my delivery is usually quite off. I am blessed and cursed within the Jekyll and Hyde of my thought process and struggle to make sense of it all, let alone find the courage to share it with others. I am a part of the online community that feels so separate from society… I think I may even be outside of the outsiders, as my writing doesn’t seem to stimulate interaction with others as much as it does a conversation with myself. It’s just me and my thoughts on this journey, me and that side of my thoughts that I need to cling to for a safe way out. It appears it’s time to start writing again.

Filed under depression alone self help perspective

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I want to forget my name
inside the sweet confessional
of your pussy, baby
fuck me, baby
fuck me, please
your hips, pounding
hard, against mine
your lips, biting
down, on my tongue
‘til the blood flows
between us

Smother my ego
with your beautiful tits
the avalanche of your orgasm
entombing my restless mind
beneath a mountain
of your moans and sighs
fuck me, baby
fuck me, please
your mouth, around my cock
your fingers, squeezing
my ass, squeezing
the fight
right out of me
‘til the cum and the love
flows
between us

I want to leave myself
beside your bed
drop my worries
on your floor
slide inside
and lose myself
in you

Max Mundan, Lose Myself in You

© David Rutter 2013

Follow me on twitter @dmr226

(via maxmundan)

This.

(via maxmundan)

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I just wanted to say hello.
So… Hello.
Let’s catch up - what’s new?
How have you been?
Oh, you know…
A little of this, a little of that,
Sorry to hear about your cat.

Cordial words to choke on,
I am drowning in thoughts of what we were,
Wearing a smile betrayed by the lost look in my eyes.
You shattered my heart like broken glass and lay my trust on the pavement in the middle of the highway…
Me, who you said was so good, so deserving of everything good in the world.
Me, who believed you all the way.
Me, who still wonders where you are, what you’re doing, if I ever
Mattered
At all.

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A great sorrow, and one that I am only beginning to understand: we don’t get to choose our own hearts. We can’t make ourselves want what’s good for us or what’s good for other people. We don’t get to choose the people we are.
The Goldfinch

Filed under quote literary quote life advice